


Can Not Be Undone

by FlashBastard



Category: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-21
Updated: 2019-11-05
Packaged: 2020-09-23 10:43:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 8,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20338831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlashBastard/pseuds/FlashBastard
Summary: Hell seeks to punish Crowley.





	1. Part 1

One thing that Aziraphale never seemed to understand was that Crowley didn't just wear his sunglasses to hide his snake eyes from the mortals. He also didn't wear them only to be fashionable. The thing that Crowley never actually told anyone was that he wore them because his serpentine eyes were extremely sensitive to artificial light. Sunlight he could handle with no problem for the most part, but artificial light was rather akin to jabbing a needle into his brain through his eyeball. 

Crowley could handle using a smart phone, or a television, or even a computer because he could control the brightness of the screen. He could set it to where he could see it without any problems at all. He couldn't do that with every light in existence, unfortunately. And it really didn't help that when they were out and about, Aziraphale preferred well lit places that made it much easier to read. That was one of the main reasons that Crowley's sunglasses were so dark. He could get away with having lunch at the Ritz if he didn't end up with a headache from the lights.

The bookshop wasn't so bad because most of the light was natural, and what little light wasn't natural was provided by soft yellow bulbs that didn't bother Crowley quite as much as the bright white ones did. That was why he could sit around without his sunglasses on in the shop. It was a safe haven from all of the garish brightness of the rest of the world. The only other place he could go and feel the same way was his flat. A place he'd designed specifically to need as little artificial light as possible. And the plants liked the natural light as well.

The invention of the LED was a particular problem for Crowley. The excruciatingly bright lights could pierce their way through even the darkest of sunglasses. Because of their usefulness, and the fact that they used such a small amount of electricity, they were starting to be used everywhere. It was next to impossible to avoid them. 

The lights had been particularly bothersome that day and Crowley could just feel the headache coming on. He'd tried to miracle away the headaches before and it just didn't work. He had to put himself in a dark place and wait for them to go away. He could have done this at his flat but he really didn't want to be laying alone in the dark just then. He knew that Aziraphale didn't mind when he came over, even if it was to sit in a dark room for a while, so he made his way to the bookshop. Crowley parked outside the shop and just sat in his car for a moment. The fact that it was after dark made things a little worse because of the street lamps. He took his sunglasses off and pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to at least get the headache to subside long enough to get inside without appearing to be drunk. 

"You really should be careful, Crowley. You never know what could happen." Dagon's voice came from his radio. Crowley looked up just as an enormous truck with bright white headlights came around the corner. Headlights that happened to be in Crowley's direct line of sight. 

"Damn it!" Crowley hissed as he closed his eyes tight. It was going to take him at least an hour to get the shadows to fade away.

"Like I said, Crowley. Must be careful." This was followed by what could only be described as an evil chuckle and then the radio went silent. There was something about the words that sent a cold shiver down Crowley's spine. He took a deep breath and let it out, trying to get rid of that feeling. He opened his eyes and then blinked several times. This wasn't the usual bright light shadows that would eventually fade. At least he could still see a bit around the edges. This was complete darkness. Not even the tiniest glimmer of light. For the first time since having to confront Satan himself, Crowley started to legitimately panic. 

Aziraphale saw the Bentley pull up to the curb and assumed that Crowley would be in shortly. He made sure to have a bottle of wine ready, as well as a pot of coffee. He wasn't sure which Crowley was in the mood for that evening. Sometimes it was both. When ten minutes had passed and the demon still hadn't come inside, Aziraphale sighed softly. He walked outside and rapped lightly on the car's window. 

"Are you coming in, dear?" He asked with a bit of a smile. The smile faded very quickly when he felt the level of fear that was coming from Crowley. Something was very wrong. He tried the door and wasn't surprised when it came open. 

"They've done something to me, Aziraphale. I....I can't see." Crowley turned his head in the direction that Aziraphale's voice had come from. He heard the angel gasp. 

"Good Lord, Crowley....." There was a hint of sadness in his tone. His eyes were no longer the bright yellow serpent eyes he'd had before. They were almost completely black. It was an unsettling look. "I'll help you inside, surely there's something that can be done." 

"Right." Crowley cleared his throat and reached for Aziraphale who quickly took his hands and led him into the bookshop. He maneuvered Crowley over to the couch and got him to take a seat, kneeling in front of him and just looking at him for a moment. 

"Perhaps I can heal you." Surely that was an option, wasn't it? He put his hand over Crowley's eyes and a soft white glow formed beneath his fingers. Crowley gripped the couch as a stabbing pain started to move from just under Aziraphale's hand through to the back of his head. He bit his lip hard enough to make it bleed. After another thirty seconds it was too much and he cried out. 

"Stop!" He was gripping the couch cushion hard enough to leave tears from his fingernails. Aziraphale quickly pulled his hand away and moved back just a little bit. 

"I'm sorry...." He wasn't sure why it hadn't worked. He'd healed Crowley before. 

"Did you honestly think it was going to be as simple as that?" Dagon's voice came from the small radio that Aziraphale kept in the shop. "Punishment can not be undone, Crowley. You know better than that." And then the radio went silent again. Aziraphale watched as Crowley closed his eyes and seemed to just deflate. It was the only way to describe it. He slumped into the couch, completely defeated. 

"That's it, then." Crowley's voice shook a little bit. He pulled the keys to his beloved car out of his pocket and held them out to Aziraphale. 

"What are you doing?" Aziraphale shook his head and backed up just a bit more. He wasn't going to take the keys. 

"You heard him, Aziraphale. Punishment can not be undone." He cleared his throat. "This is my punishment. Hell finally decided that they could mess with me after all." 

"But that's your car...." Aziraphale started. 

"What good is a car to a man that can't see, Aziraphale? Huh? How exactly am I supposed to drive it now?!" He angrily threw the keys across the room. Crowley got up and tried to storm off, but immediately ran into a chair and ended up on the floor. He just lay there for a long moment before curling up in as little of a ball as possible. 

"I'm sorry, Crowley. I truly am." Aziraphale moved over and lay down next to Crowley, wrapping his arms around him tightly. There was a long road ahead and Aziraphale wanted to make sure that Crowley knew he wouldn't have to travel it alone.


	2. Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crowley isn't handling things well at all.

The first thing that Aziraphale did after Crowley showed up in his shop completely unable to see was to change the layout of the rooms upstairs. Rather than just the one bedroom, the building now had two, both very easily accessible from the stairs. He also added a better railing to make it easier to get upstairs in the first place. He then got Crowley upstairs and situated into one of the rooms. Aziraphale thought that this would help. It wasn't the first time he'd been wrong. 

Crowley simply curled up under the blankets and went to sleep, which was understandable at first. It was a lot to deal with. He had to have been exhausted. But a few hours turned into a couple of days and then nearly three weeks. Nothing Aziraphale did got Crowley to get out of bed. He'd managed to wake him up occasionally but the demon would just roll over and go back to sleep. Aziraphale couldn't even tempt Crowley out of bed with a nice bottle of his favorite Scotch. 

"Darling, you have to get out of bed." Aziraphale said as he sat on the edge of the bed. He reached out to touch Crowley's arm and Crowley just rolled away. 

"What's the point?" Crowley's voice was muffled by the blankets that he currently had pulled completely over his head. 

"The point is that this isn't the end of the world, Crowley. You have a perfectly fully functional.....everything else." He sighed. "The rest can be worked around." 

"The rest?" Crowley pulled the covers down from his head and tried to look at Aziraphale. His eyes were completely black now, and devoid of any kind of spark. "You mean being blind? I'm very well aware of the fact that it can be worked around, Aziraphale." 

"Then why won't you let me help you?" He kept his tone soft and even. 

"I am allowed to mope and be completely miserable for as long as I see fit and I am not done doing that just yet." He made a face and then pulled the blankets back over his head. "I just want to be left alone." 

"Alright, dear. You know where to find me if you change your mind." Aziraphale said with a heavy sigh. 

"Yes. Hovering." Crowley said bitterly. He wasn't really angry at Aziraphale, it was just very easy to take his anger out on the angel. Aziraphale just sighed again and left the room, quietly closing the door behind him. If Crowley wanted to continue moping, he'd leave him to it. 

It was a full two weeks later before Crowley finally got out of bed. He'd made sure to move around in bed so that he wouldn't get too stiff but it hadn't helped completely. It took him a couple of minutes of very carefully maneuvering around the room before he felt comfortable enough to actually try to head downstairs. Aziraphale had not been up to see him during that entire time and he was starting to worry a little bit, but only a little. He'd heard the angel moving around downstairs. Crowley kept his hands out in front of him as he moved toward where the railing was supposed to be. He managed to slip off the top stair before he got a good grip, though he wasn't in danger of falling. It took him several minutes to actually get down the stairs, having to carefully feel for each one. 

"Finally decided to get out of bed then?" Aziraphale asked as he waited at the bottom of the stairs. He'd been standing there pretty much since he heard Crowley moving around. 

"Got boring." Crowley cleared his throat and tried to keep a smile off his face. "You didn't come bother me." 

"You said you wanted to be left alone. I decided to respect that." Aziraphale smiled a little. When Crowley got within reach, he put a hand over Crowley's on the railing. 

"Next time don't listen to me, okay?" Crowley put his other hand over Aziraphale's and managed to make it down the last two steps without a problem. As soon as he was on the ground floor, Aziraphale took Crowley's arm and started to slowly guide him over to the couch. 

"I promise." He said softly. Aziraphale realized just then that a large portion of the way they communicated with each other was completely out of the question now. He would have to put everything into the tone of his voice from then on. It was going to be a challenge but it was one he was willing to take on. "Would you like some coffee, dear?" 

"Not right now, no." Crowley shook his head. Once they were at the couch, Crowley managed to get seated without it being too embarrassing. This was going to take a lot of getting used to. 

"Is there anything you would like?" Aziraphale was ready and willing to get him literally anything he wanted. It was just a snap of his fingers away. 

"It's going to sound a bit silly." Crowley cleared his throat. He folded his hands in his lap and started to pick at his nails. Aziraphale had never seen him like that. So unsure of himself. 

"Silly is perfectly alright, Crowley. Please, ask away. Anything at all." Aziraphale smiled and sat down next to Crowley on the couch. Crowley lifted his head in the general direction of Aziraphale's voice. 

"Would you.....read to me?" He blushed just a little bit. Aziraphale practically melted at the request. He took a deep breath to steady his voice before answering. 

"Of course, darling. What would you like me to read to you?" He got up and started to move toward the closest bookshelf. 

"Doesn't matter." Crowley shrugged. "I just....want to hear your voice." He felt entirely ridiculous saying things like that but it was the truth. Aziraphale's voice was extremely comforting, even when he was angry with him. There was just something about it. 

"Of course, dear." Aziraphale had to fight hard to keep his voice from shaking. He was being bombarded with about a million different emotions all at once. "I know just the thing." Rather than getting a book, Aziraphale sat back down on the couch. There were actually a few books that he had memorized. When he was situated back on the couch, Crowley shifted so that he was laying with his head in Aziraphale's lap. Aziraphale started to gently run his fingers through Crowley's hair as he started. 

"Here is Edward Bear, coming down the stairs now, bump bump bump, on the back of his head, behind Christopher Robin."


	3. Part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aziraphale has been doing a lot of research with Anathema's help.

Crowley found, over the five years since his sight had been taken away, that the biggest advantage to his wardrobe being entirely black was that it didn't matter what he wore. The feel of the fabric and the shape of the garment were the only information he needed to be able to get dressed. The blacks were all pretty much the same so the rest didn't matter. He could just get up, get dressed and then go about his day. 

He hadn't gone back to his flat other than to pack so he could move all of this things to Aziraphale's apartment. The angel protested over the chair that was practically a throne and Crowley agreed it was a bit much. He'd really only bought it for the way it looked and that didn't matter anymore. Plus, it really would be completely out of place with Aziraphale's things. 

"I'm heading to the shop to get a few things. Anything you need to add to the list?" Crowley asked as he made his way to the door. Aziraphale had rearranged the entire shop to make it an easy path from the stairs to the front door. And he made sure that the furniture never moved. After a particularly nasty incident that led to Crowley falling down the stairs, he kept everything in a specific place. 

"Perhaps some milk." Aziraphale barely looked up from his book. 

"Milk. Right." Crowley nodded and reached for the doorknob. 

"Darling, don't forget your cane." Aziraphale cleared his throat. Crowley quite often tried to leave the shop without his cane and every time he succeeded, he ended up needing to call Aziraphale for help getting back home. He made a big show of sighing heavily before grabbing the cane that he kept by the door. He managed to open the door just as someone was about to knock. 

"Anathema. Nice of you to visit. I'm just heading to the shop but Aziraphale is in there." Crowley motioned over his shoulder. 

"How did you know it was me?" Anathema asked as she pushed up her glasses. 

"Peonies." Crowley replied with a smile. "You smell like peonies." 

"Oh, right. My perfume. I always forget about it." She chuckled. Crowley stepped out of the way so she could step inside and then headed out the door to the shop. Aziraphale was still looking through a book when she walked over.

"Any news?" He asked her. 

"No. I've looked into everything I can find. All of the resources my family has and a few that were very.....difficult to get a hold of." She cleared her throat as she pushed her glasses up again. 

"No luck, then?" He looked up and removed his glasses. He wasn't sure why he even still wore them other than he looked good in them. 

"I'm afraid not. There's nothing in there about lifting this kind of curse. And I mean....it's not really a curse, is it? It's actual physical damage that just had a bit of demonic assistance." She pulled a note pad out of her bag and set it on Aziraphale's desk. 

"There has to be some way we can fix this." He sighed and rubbed at his temples. Anathema put a hand on Aziraphale's shoulder. 

"Did you ever think, Aziraphale, that maybe.....Crowley doesn't want to be fixed?" 

"What do you mean? Why wouldn't he want to be able to see again?" Aziraphale closed the book and looked up at her. 

"He's happy here. Now that he's actually accepted his situation. And he's adapted extremely well. He's practically independent." She shrugged. 

"But that's just it. He used to be entirely independent. He was able to take care of himself. If I can just restore his sight...." Aziraphale sighed and reached for another book. Anathema bit her lip before saying what was on her mind. 

"He might....possibly....think you don't want him here anymore." She pushed her glasses up again. Aziraphale stared up at her. 

"Why would he think that?" The thought hadn't even entered his mind. He did very much enjoy Crowley being around all the time. Anathema found a chair and pulled it over to sit next to Aziraphale. 

"Put yourself in his shoes, Aziraphale. Think about it. If you relied on Crowley to take care of you and Crowley did everything he could to make sure that wasn't necessary. That you could take care of yourself. If he worked for years and years to try to make it so that you didn't need him anymore. How would that make you feel?" She put a hand on his arm. Aziraphale just looked at her for a moment before sighing again. 

"Like I was a burden he was trying to be rid of." Aziraphale pinched the bridge of his nose. "I have been an utter fool, haven't I?" 

"Only a little bit. I know that you want what you think is best for him but maybe, just maybe, you should let Crowley decided that for himself." She squeezed Aziraphale's arm. 

"You're right, dear. Of course, you're right." Aziraphale patted the hand that Anathema had on his arm. 

"So, we'll stop the intense research for now." She smiled. "If I come across something, I'll let you know, but I'm not going to go looking." 

"That sounds entirely reasonable, thank you." Aziraphale nodded. "Now, I need to see what I can do about dinner before he gets back. I'm afraid I'm an entirely useless cook." He chuckled softly as he got to his feet. 

"Let me help you with that." She said as she got to her feet as well.


	4. part 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crowley quite often gets into Aziraphale's bed in the middle of the night.

One of the many things that changed after Crowley came to live with Aziraphale was that Aziraphale actually started having a sleep schedule. He'd never really bothered with it before. It wasn't necessary, but Crowley was a very big fan of sleeping and did it on a regular basis. 

They'd actually gotten into a bit of a routine. They would have breakfast in the morning. Crowley would then either spend the day listening to music, or run the errands that were close enough to walk to, or sometimes just go to the park and enjoy the sunshine while Aziraphale handled business in the shop. He'd come home in the evening and they'd have dinner together. After drinks they would sit in the shop's back room with Aziraphale reading to Crowley while Crowley rested his head on Aziraphale's lap. It would quite often involve Aziraphale stroking Crowley's hair. And then, when the hour got late enough, Crowley would go to bed. It wasn't long after that Aziraphale started to go to bed at the same time. 

There had been more than one occasion over the five years that had passed that Aziraphale would be awakened by Crowley climbing into his bed and snuggling up to his side. It usually happened on particularly cold evenings. Or if there was a rather loud thunderstorm going on outside. 

"Crowley." Aziraphale asked as he wrapped his arms around the demon. 

"Hmm?" Crowley snuggled into Aziraphale's side. 

"This seems a little silly, don't you think?" Aziraphale moved a hand up to gently stroke Crowley's hair. It was always amazingly soft. 

"What do you mean?" Crowley shifted a little but didn't lift his head. He was a little afraid he was about to be asked to stop coming into the angel's bedroom. 

"The um....the separate bedrooms." Aziraphale cleared his throat. "It seems a little....I don't know. Unnecessary." He shrugged a little. This time Crowley did raise his head just a little, even if he couldn't look Aziraphale in the eye. 

"You.....want to share a bed?" He raised an eyebrow. 

"We've done that quite often, haven't we? You climb into my bed in the middle of the night? It just occurred to me that it might be easier on the both of us to just....omit the step of going to separate beds to begin with." He smiled and moved one hand to lightly stroke Crowley's cheek with the back of his finger. 

"Well, yeah. You've got a point. I guess." Crowley nodded. "Would make things a lot easier." He smiled. 

"So....shall we start tomorrow night? We can come straight to bed after dinner and I can read to you until you fall asleep." Aziraphale kept stroking Crowley's cheek. 

"That actually sounds really nice." Crowley shifted again, resting his head on Aziraphale's chest. This particular night was a thunderstorm and Crowley tensed a little at a rather loud crack of thunder. Aziraphale just held onto him. 

"You're safe, Crowley." Aziraphale whispered and kissed the top of his head. It seemed to be a constant reassurance over the last few years but Aziraphale was happy to give it. It wasn't long before Crowley was asleep again and Aziraphale followed soon after.


	5. Part 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Madame Tracy gives Crowley a little advice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is not quite five years after the last one. A little less than ten years after the first chapter.

Crowley was beginning to wonder about the state of their relationship. He'd been living with Aziraphale for nearly ten years and they'd actually shared a bed for nearly half of that time. They quite often went to bed curled up together, Crowley resting his head on Aziraphale's chest. It seemed, though, that Aziraphale was still perfectly content to leave everything entirely platonic. Perhaps the angel just didn't feel the same way about him. And then there was the little voice in his head that told him that this was all only because Aziraphale felt sorry for him and that if he ever regained his sight, he'd be kicked to the curb. He tried very hard to ignore that voice.

There was a knock on the shop door that Crowley wasn't expecting. Aziraphale was actually out of town for a few days at some kind of conference for book sellers. He'd started taking actually running a business rather seriously over the last year or so. Crowley got within earshot of whoever might be outside.

"Sign says we're closed." He said loudly.

"It's me, Mr Crowley." A very familiar voice said on the other side of the door. Crowley chuckled and then went to open the door, revealing Madame Tracy on the other side.

"Come on in." Crowley gestured for her to come in. "Can I take your coat?"

"Why thank you." She said as she stepped inside. She removed her coat and held it out for a second before making sure to touch Crowley's hand. Crowley took the coat and managed to get it onto the coat rack by the door pretty easily. "How are you doing, dear?"

"I'm fine." He started to walk back toward the back room of the shop. "Can I get you some tea?"

"I...well...yes. Just cream, dear." Madame Tracy was a little interested to see how he'd do that. And he solved the problem by simply snapping his fingers and miracling up the cup of tea.

"Did Aziraphale send you to check on me?" Crowley asked as he took a seat in Aziraphale's chair.

"He didn't send me, per se." Madame Tracy replied as she took a seat on the couch across from him. "He simply expressed his concern about you being here all by yourself."

"And you took it upon yourself to alleviate his concerns." It was said, not asked. Madame Tracy sipped her tea and nodded.

"Precisely." She should have known he'd see right through her visit.

"Well, you can tell him that I'm doing perfectly fine. For the most part." He wrinkled his nose a bit. Madame Tracy set down her tea cup and leaned forward a little bit.

"What do you mean, for the most part love?" She asked. Crowley sighed heavily. 

"When he's here, I can concentrate on him. Just him. His smell, the little hums he makes when his tea is particularly good. His voice. That kind of thing." Crowley shifted a bit in his seat. "When he's not....I can hear everything. The sounds the building makes, the people outside. It's hard to concentrate." 

Madame Tracy got up and walked over to put a hand on his shoulder. "That tends to happen when you live with someone for so long, dear. And when you love someone." She'd seen it almost as soon as she'd met the two of them. Crowley put a hand over Madame Tracy's and smiled a little, but it wasn't quite as bright as usual. "What is it, love?" She squeezed his shoulder. 

"I'm just not sure that the feelings are mutual." He shrugged a little. Madame Tracy squeezed his shoulder again. 

"He does love you, Crowley. Very much. And I'm sure he shows it every day. In his own way." She smiled. 

"We've shared a bed for nearly five years and not even a wandering hand." Crowley made a face as he said it. Madame Tracy laughed. 

"So you're worried about the fact that he hasn't tried to get into your pants, is that it?" She asked. Crowley nodded. "Well then, love. Have you considered the possibility that he's waiting for you to make the first move? Given everything that's happened." 

Crowley opened his mouth to say something and then shut it again. He hadn't even thought about that. What if Aziraphale was waiting for him to make a move? Waiting to see if Crowley was actually interested in that kind of relationship. He slumped into his chair a little bit and made a face again. 

"That's what I thought." Madame Tracy said with another chuckle. "So when he gets home, you should let him know that that is what you want. And then see what happens." 

"Right. And I know exactly what to do." Crowley said with a grin. They spent the rest of the evening drinking tea and talking about what was to come.


	6. part 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crowley and Aziraphale finally admit their feelings for each other.

Madame Tracy had talked Crowley out of his initial plan of just being waiting in bed completely naked when Aziraphale arrived. She'd said she didn't think the angel would take that very well. After thinking about it for a moment, Crowley agreed that it was a bit like jumping head first into freezing water. Aziraphale needed to be eased in. 

When Aziraphale finally got home from his conference, there was a table sitting in the middle of the bookshop. It was set with his nicer plates and a single red rose in a vase in the center as well as two white taper candles that had yet to be lit. There were also wine glasses and a bottle of wine. The lights in the shop had been dimmed and Aziraphale could smell something wonderful cooking. 

"Crowley dear, I'm home." Aziraphale called out as he set his suitcase right beside the door, a small smile on his face. 

"Fantastic." Crowley said as he made his way downstairs. He was dressed rather nicely, and a little differently from his usual all black attire. Tonight he was wearing a deep red dress shirt that brought out the highlights in his hair and black trousers. He was still barefoot, though, which was usually the case when he wasn't planning on going outside. 

"What's all this, dear?" Aziraphale asked as he moved a little closer to the table. He felt considerably under dressed but he kept that to himself. 

"This is me welcoming you home." Crowley said with a chuckle. He walked over and gave Aziraphale a kiss on the cheek. "I thought we could have a nice dinner and then maybe we could just talk for a while. You can tell me about your trip." He grinned. 

"That does sound lovely." Aziraphale agreed. He took a seat at the table and started to reach for the wine. 

"I've got it." Crowley smiled and picked up the bottle of wine. Aziraphale wanted to protest but he'd learned a long time ago to just let Crowley do the things he wanted to be able to do. It only took a finger running across the rim of the glass for Crowley to pour the wine without incident. He then poured his own glass before taking a seat. 

Dinner was absolutely wonderful. Crowley had hired a caterer to provide the meal. A lovely steak with asparagus and rosemary potatoes. It had been a little while since he'd had a meal that good. There was also a lovely chocolate cake for dessert. Not the usual catered meal but it was good. Once they were done eating and their plates put away, Crowley took Aziraphale's hand and led him into the back room of the shop. He sat down on the couch and patted the spot next to him. 

"What made you decide to have something like this waiting for me when I got home?" Aziraphale asked with a smile as he took a seat next to Crowley. 

"You do so much for me, I just thought it would be nice to do something for you for a change." He cleared his throat. "And I thought it would be....I don't know....romantic." Crowley took Aziraphale's hand in his. 

"Romantic?" Aziraphale asked as he looked down at their hands. He shifted his hand a little and laced his fingers with Crowley's. "Is that....something you're interested in?" He'd worried so much that Crowley would see it as him taking advantage. Crowley slid a hand up Aziraphale's arm and shoulder to eventually rest on his cheek, smiling a little. 

"I am very much interested in it." He wished just then that he could actually look Aziraphale in the eye. That he could see the emotions on the angel's face. Aziraphale leaned in very close, his lips almost touching Crowley's. 

"I was hoping you'd say that." Aziraphale said before he closed the small distance and kissed Crowley. It was just as wonderful as he'd imagined it would be. Crowley moved his hand to the back of Aziraphale's head as he deepened the kiss just a bit. The kiss seemed to go on forever and neither of them cared. It was everything they'd both wanted. After a moment, when they did finally part, Aziraphale's eyes were still closed. 

"I love you, Crowley." Aziraphale said softly, his hand going to rest in the middle of Crowley's chest. 

"I love you, too." Crowley said, getting a little emotional. It had been such a long time since he'd heard that word directed at him. He kissed Aziraphale again, just holding onto him as if he would fall apart if he let go.


	7. part 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anathema has found a way to heal Crowley.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I started this chapter, I actually had no idea where it was going to go. I just started typing and let the story tell itself. And this is where it's gone.

One thing that had been made very, very clear to Crowley over the last few days, since confessing his feelings for Aziraphale, was that with his vision gone, his other senses were extremely heightened. The sounds and the smells and the touches, it was all so much more intense. It made their nights together far more enjoyable than he thought possible. Crowley was almost certain that on at least one occasion he had actually left his body. 

"Are you alright, dear?" Aziraphale asked, kissing Crowley's neck softly. 

"I will be." Crowley said with a breathless chuckle. "I think you're trying to kill me, though." 

"Kill you? Why on Earth would you think that?" Aziraphale said with a small smile. 

"Just a hunch." Crowley laughed and wrapped his arms around his angel. Aziraphale rested his head on Crowley's chest and slid an arm around his middle. 

"At least I'm trying to kill you in a pleasurable way, yes?" Aziraphale asked softly. 

"This is definitely the way I want to go." Crowley nodded as he started to slowly stroke Aziraphale's hair. 

"Good. Because all I want is for you to be happy." Aziraphale kissed Crowley's chest before laying his head on his shoulder again. 

"I am ridiculously happy." Crowley said with a nod. He was happier than he could ever remember being. They just lay there quietly in each others arms for quite a long time. Aziraphale was certain that Crowley had fallen asleep when the demon tensed suddenly. 

"What is it, dear?" Aziraphale sat up, looking at Crowley. 

"I can hear someone downstairs." Crowley sat up and listened very carefully. He could hear someone trying to be quiet. Of course the rule was that if you were actually trying to be quiet, you were anything but. Aziraphale was about to protest when there was a loud crash of books hitting the floor. 

"I'll go check who it is." He got up and grabbed his robe, slipping it on before he started toward the stairs. He thought about grabbing something to act as a weapon but he didn't really need it. 

"Please be careful." Crowley said quietly from the bed. Another moment in which he wished he had his sight. 

Aziraphale made his way slowly down the stairs. He wasn't actively trying to be quiet so he managed to succeed in that at least. When he got down the stairs and noticed the shadow in the dark, he snapped his fingers and filled the room with bright, white light. 

"What in Heaven's name are you doing here?" He asked as he walked over to Anathema who was trying to right the pile of books she'd knocked over. 

"I'm sorry. I thought you were sleeping and I didn't want to bother you. There's something that I need to look for." She stopped what she was doing and stood straight up. 

"All you had to do was ask, dear, but this couldn't have waited until morning?" He wrapped his robe a little tighter around him. There were parts of him that only Crowley got to see, after all. 

"I'm not sure you want it to." She pulled a notepad out of the bag she had over her shoulder and held it out to Aziraphale. "Do you have this book? I thought I saw it a while back." 

"Why yes, I do." Aziraphale nodded and went over to one of the bookshelves against the very back wall. It was a shelf that was positioned to be as undesirable to get to as possible. He looked over the books and then pulled down the one she'd indicated, then went back over and held it out to her. Anathema took the book and flipped through the pages until she came to the one she was looking for, holding the book back out to Aziraphale. 

"We agreed not to actively look for a solution but if one presented itself, we'd discuss it, right?" She asked as she indicated the book. "A solution has presented itself." She smiled. Aziraphale took the book and started looking over the page that Anathema had turned to. His eyes went a bit wider as he continued to read. 

"I do believe you're right." Aziraphale said with a smile. 

"A solution to what?" Crowley asked from the stairs causing both of them to jump. Aziraphale closed the book and walked over to the stairs, taking Crowley's hand. 

"A solution to your sight problem." Aziraphale said with a smile. He squeezed Crowley's hand gently. The smile faded when Crowley took his hand back and just kept his eyes straight ahead. He'd stopped attempting to look in anyone's general direction. 

"No." Crowley shook his head. He very slowly turned and started to go back up the stairs. 

"But Crowley...." Aziraphale started. 

"It's a simple spell...." Anathema began. Crowley stopped on the stairs and this time did turn his head in their general direction. 

"It's been too long. I've gotten used to this. To living like this. And spells have consequences. We don't know what could happen. Especially given what made me blind in the first place." His hand was gripping the railing very hard. 

"I've been researching it. It's perfectly safe." Anathema said as she started to move toward the stairs. 

"No magic is perfectly safe, Anathema. None." Crowley shook his head. "I'm not risking it." He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I am not a problem to be solved. A puzzle to be put back together." He started back up the stairs. "Both of you need to just stop." 

"Crowley..." Anathema started again and Aziraphale put a hand on her arm. 

"Let him go." He said a bit sadly. "I appreciate your efforts but this obviously isn't what he wants." He held the book out to Anathema. "You can keep the book." He then turned and made his way back upstairs behind Crowley. After several minutes of just standing there completely confused, Anathema put the book in her bag and left.


	8. part 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crowley and Aziraphale discuss his decision

Aziraphale slowly made his way up the stairs and into their bedroom. Crowley was laying in bed with his back to Aziraphale's side of the bed. Aziraphale just stood there watching him for a long time. He couldn't figure out what was going on in the demon's mind. 

"Are you going to come to bed or are you just going to stare at me all night?" Crowley eventually asked. He could almost feel the eyes on him the entire time Aziraphale was standing there. 

"Sorry, dear." Aziraphale said softly. He made his way over to the bed, removing his robe before climbing in next to Crowley. He moved up behind Crowley and wrapped an arm around him, kissing his shoulder gently. They were both quiet for several minutes and Aziraphale thought that Crowley had fallen back to sleep. 

"Please stop." Crowley said softly after a while.

"Stop what, dear?" Aziraphale asked. He had a feeling he knew, though. 

"Stop trying to fix me." Crowley's voice was quiet. He tried to keep any emotion out of it but he wasn't sure he was doing very well at all. 

"I don't understand...." Aziraphale kissed Crowley's shoulder again. "I thought you would want to see again." 

"I do." Crowley sighed a little. He moved back into Aziraphale, just wanting him close. "But I need you to stop trying." 

"Are you willing to tell me why?" Aziraphale just wanted to understand Crowley's side of things. Crowley shifted in Aziraphale's arms so that they were facing each other. Aziraphale missed Crowley's beautiful yellow snake eyes instead of the glistening black that had been there for years. 

"You don't know what the consequences will be." Crowley moved a hand up to touch Aziraphale's cheek. 

"But Anathema said..." Aziraphale started. Crowley shook his head. 

"The magic might be safe but you have to remember, Zira. Hell did this to me as punishment. This wasn't just something that happened. It was done to me." He kept his hand on Aziraphale's cheek. "You don't know what will happen if you take that punishment away." 

"Darling..." 

"No." Crowley shook his head. "If you fix this....if I see again....Hell could come after you next." He cleared his throat. "Or they could come after Anathema. Or anyone else...." Crowley sighed and closed his eyes. "I could never live with myself if something happened to you or to any of them because I wanted to see again." 

"I hadn't thought of that." Aziraphale said after a moment of silence. He just looked at Crowley for a while, taking everything in. 

"I know you didn't, Zira. You're an optimist. You only see the good in things." Crowley smiled a little. "That's what I'm here for. To help you see the bad. And with this.....it could be very very bad." 

"I'm so sorry, my love." Aziraphale kissed Crowley lightly on the lips. "I promise. I'll stop looking." 

"Thank you." Crowley snuggled in a little closer to his angel. "I just want you safe." 

"I know." Aziraphale nodded and started to rub Crowley's back slowly. It wasn't long before Crowley actually was asleep and Aziraphale sighed softly. "I hate that they've done this to you." He whispered. He then looked up at the ceiling. "And I hate that you let them." It took quite a long time for him to finally get to sleep after that.


	9. part 9

It started out as a mild discomfort. When Crowley woke up, his eyes were a little itchy but that was it. Just slightly irritating. He decided to ignore it and just go about his day. He went to the market that morning, making small talk with the cashier. He then went back to the book shop and put the groceries away before deciding to head to the park. It was a beautiful day outside, after all. 

"Where are you going now?" Aziraphale asked with a bit of a chuckle. 

"Thought I would go to the park for a bit. Was there something you needed?" Crowley asked after stopping on his way to the door. 

"No, it just seems you're going out more than usual today, that's all." Aziraphale replied. He walked over and gave Crowley a kiss on the cheek. 

"Yes. Two whole trips out of the shop in one day. Amazing." Crowley laughed and shook his head. Aziraphale just chuckled again and Crowley left to go to the park. 

While he sat in the park, the itch started to turn into a bit of a sting. It still wasn't anything that he couldn't handle. He tried to miracle away the sensation to no avail. That had him slightly worried but only slightly. He spent about an hour sitting on a bench in the park near the duck pond before going back to the shop. 

"Yes....of course." Aziraphale said in response to the person on the phone. "Yes. Absolutely. Okay. Thank you very much. Have a nice day." He then hung up the phone. 

"Who was that?" Crowley asked. 

"Just the supplier. He had a few new books he thought I might like." Aziraphale replied before going over to give Crowley a kiss on the lips. "How was the park?" 

"It was okay. The ducks were particularly noisy today." Crowley made a face. Aziraphale took his arm and led him back to the couch in the back room. 

"I thought we could have dinner at the Ritz tonight." Aziraphale said as he sat next to Crowley. 

"That sounds lovely." Crowley nodded. He took off his sunglasses and rubbed his eyes a bit. The irritating sting was a little worse than when he'd been in the park. 

"Is everything alright, dear?" Aziraphale asked, concern evident in his voice. 

"I'm not sure." Crowley sighed. "There's a bit of a....sting." He made a face before rubbing his eyes again. "I'm sure it'll go away." 

"Okay." Aziraphale was definitely still worried but he'd learned to trust Crowley when it came to certain things. 

As the day went on, the sting got a bit worse and then it slowly turned into a dull ache. Like a pressure building behind his eyes. He told Aziraphale that he was going to take a nap before dinner and then went up to lay in bed. He hoped that the pain would go away but it didn't. As time went on, it actually got worse. 

"Darling? Do you still want to go to dinner?" Aziraphale asked about an hour before they were supposed to go. 

"I um.....I don't think I can." Crowley's voice shook a bit as he said it. The pain had gotten bad enough that he was almost crying at that point. 

"What's wrong?" Aziraphale came over and sat down next to him on the bed, putting a hand on his shoulder. 

"It hurts....." Crowley pointed to his temple. 

"How bad?" Aziraphale gently rubbed Crowley's arm. 

"I really wouldn't mind being dipped in holy water right now." Crowley replied. He kept his eyes closed and his back to Aziraphale. 

"How long?" Aziraphale was suddenly very concerned. It had to be pretty bad for Crowley to say that. 

"This bad just about an hour. It's been slowly getting worse throughout the day. Started out just a minor itch this morning." Crowley gripped the sheets. He was pretty sure the pain was getting worse. 

"Is there anything that I can do?" Aziraphale reached up to gently run his fingers through Crowley's hair. He could attempt to heal him but that might make matters worse. 

"Just.....hold me for a bit." Crowley replied. Aziraphale lay down on the bed next to Crowley and wrapped his arms around him. He hoped that it actually did help. After a while he could feel Crowley starting to cry. 

"Darling?" Aziraphale asked as he kissed the back of Crowley's neck. 

"I feel like my head is about to explode. It just keeps getting worse." Crowley's voice was strained as he said it. Aziraphale shifted a little so he could kiss Crowley's temple. 

"I'm so sorry, my love." He hated the fact that he couldn't legitimately heal Crowley. All they could do was ride it out and hope that it got better. After a little while longer Aziraphale agreed that alcohol was the way to go and helped Crowley get drunk enough that he was able to actually fall asleep. Maybe things would be better in the morning. 

Crowley woke up when the sun came streaming through the bedroom window and hit him right in the face. It took him a good five minutes to realize that the sun was actually bothering him. It had been nearly twenty years since he'd seen anything other than complete darkness. 

"Zira?" Crowley said as he blinked a few times. He still couldn't see anything but instead of darkness, there was now light. He could at least make out that there was light. 

"Yes, Crowley?" Aziraphale asked as he sat up and stretched. Crowley blinked again. He could see a shape in the white. There was a bit of movement. Crowley reached out and managed to touch Aziraphale's hand. 

"It's not dark anymore." Crowley said softly. He was almost afraid that it would go away and he'd be plunged once again into darkness. 

"What do you mean?" Aziraphale asked and he gasped slightly when he got a good look at Crowley. "You're eyes....." Aziraphale put his hands on Crowley's cheeks. 

"What about them?" Crowley asked, a little panicked. 

"They're not all black anymore. They're white now." Aziraphale replied. "They're completely white but they're definitely white." 

"And I can see light. I can....make out your shape a little bit. Like a blur in the light." Crowley replied with a little bit of a smile. 

"And how does your head feel?" Aziraphale slid his hand up to run his fingers through Crowley's hair. 

"Doesn't hurt at all." Crowley nodded. 

"You don't think....." Aziraphale started. 

"I don't want to jinx it." Crowley interrupted. "But I can see light and I can make out your shape. We can celebrate that a bit." Crowley chuckled. 

"Yes, we can definitely celebrate that." Aziraphale nodded before giving Crowley a kiss on the lips. He couldn't keep himself from wondering what had changed that Crowley could suddenly see light instead of dark. The rest they could worry about later.


End file.
